Important News -- The Return of T. Thorne

Well, it's not the EBTG reunion I once pined for (in a post I'm too lazy to look up), but it's something. Tracey Thorn's new single "It's All True" is in the iTunes store now. If you, like the circ, are a sap for electro-folksy conky-wonky swagger, you'll like the song.

By the by, my best friend and I were once nearly accosted in Covent Garden by a woman who "swore" that said best friend was Tracey Thorn. Said best friend cried for three hours at the thought of resembling Tracey Thorn (pictured right).

Here's a little something about Tracey's new album:

If there is a timeless cross-generational voice in modern English pop, folk and electronica, it is that of Tracey Thorn (of Everything But The Girl). After twenty years of recording and touring she walked away to raise her family and didn’t sing a note for five years.

But now she's back with a new album 'Out Of The Woods' (released March 5th). Her prime collaborator Ewan Pearson, whose peerless track record in contemporary clubland has led from early work for leading techno label, Soma, to his current status of remixer-du-jour (Goldfrapp, Pet Shop Boys) from his home base in Berlin, although Tracey would assure you it was their soon-discovered shared love of Dusty Springfield and Rufus Wainwright that clinched it!

On 'It's All True' Tracey teams up with Ewan, Darshan (Metro Area) and Sasse Lindblad (Mood Music) to help co-write the music. The song captures moments of late seventies disco and dance floor pop bliss. With Tracey's voice dipping and climbing into beautiful new vocal ranges.

On Remix duties:

Ewan, Darshan and Sasse have done a sublime extended dub of the original (DSE Dub).

Kris Menace's brilliant italo-disco inspired production suits this track perfectly and should take it to a wider variety of dance floors.

Martin Buttrich has really emerged this year as an outstanding talent and here he really shines with a superb deep techno excursion. He has also done a dub which should suit the more minimal dance floors.

Finally Brooklyn hipsters Escort totally re-play the track with live instruments and makes drizzly old England feel like St Tropez. [Easier.com]

They Read My Jejune Blog in Israel, Too

I'm told this is a site for Russians in Israel or Israelis in Russia or, possibly, none of above. Let me know if you figure it out.
Носки президента Всемирного банка шокировали турок [Botinok]

The Orange Turtleneck

Read the Home Improvement Ninja's post and then vote for whether his sweater looks "Gay" or "European."

Unfortunately, the poll has no write-in space for alternate adjectives.

PS- This is, as you may have suspected, completely Velvet's fault.

As an Aside...

If you really want to know who posted the nonsense about Paul Wolfowitz torn socks first (in English, at least)... well then, "Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!"

I try not to scratch my back too often. It chafes the skin and, after all, I am a good Protestant. But once in a while....

Yeah, I had this article translated, so you could learn the details surrounding Wolfowitz's nasty socks. (You'd have better understood Turkish if you wanted to know prior to that.) And yeah, I ripped off the pics waaaaay before Ginger Spice ever thought about abandoning George Michael.

Now sigh, yawn and move along.

UPDATE: (10:23 pm) Whoops! Never post before eating a proper dinner. Thanks to BHDC for the link yesterday.

Paul Wolfowitz's Sock Has a Hole in It!

World Bank President and former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz has reminded the world how "fiscally conservative, " "fashion backward" and "hygienically unfortunate" Little-Big-Man Wolfowitz is.... On a visit to Turkey yesterday, Wolfowitz flashed a sock with a hole in it! And was caught on camera!

Wolfowitz is in Turkey for two days of official meetings. Since arriving, he has praised Turkey for its economic and political stability. Wolfowitz had breakfast yesterday with college students who are working on different projects funded by the World Bank. He then travelled from Istanbul to Edirne in northwestern Turkey, where he visited the Selimiye Mosque.

As Wolfowitz took off his shoes to enter the Selimiye Mosque, one of his socks was observed to be torn. To be more precise.... at least one toe was seen poking through a hole in his gray sock -- make that toes through holes in socks (pictured right)!

Seemingly unashamed by his feet, Wolfowitz went about his business in the mosque. After the visit (and with his shoes, thankfully, on his feet), he attempted to buy two necklaces for his daughters in the shopping area next to the mosque. Realizing he did not have sufficient money ($275 YTL - about $196) to pay for the necklaces, he had to borrow it from his security detail.

Dünya Bankası Başkanı evsizleri ziyaret etti [Milliyet]

A Bit of Hope for the Hopeless....

There's always milk.

Five single farmers -- three men and two women -- have become an overnight sensation in Wales by putting their photos on thousands of plastic milk containers on grocery shelves. Their "Fancy a Farmer?" stickers also list a Web site ( http://www.pishynwales.com/) where potential suitors can get in touch with them.....

Monday, he and a few other farmers stood at the production line at the Calon Wen organic milk cooperative and stuck several thousand of the dating stickers onto passing one-liter and two-liter milk containers. Jones said it was tough to keep up with the fast flow of containers coming down the conveyor belt, making it something of a slapstick comedy routine....

Since the milk containers hit the stores this week, thousands of people have visited the Web site and Jones and the other farmers have begun receiving letters and dating offers at their homes -- even though they didn't publicize exactly where they live....

Other farmers, including some in neighboring Ireland, have heard about the novel dating technique and are calling to say they wouldn't mind if their mug was on a milk carton, too. [WaPo]

And I Pray She Was Hit By a Car After Her 'American Idol' Audition

Mistake #1: She chose a song once voted by the circ and an ex-boyfriend as "The Most Annoying of All Time" for her 'American Idol' audition.

Mistakes #2-#99: Everything else about her.

Sorry, but I enjoy seeing people as fiercely wretched as the demon singing on the right fail miserably..... And out of all the evils in the world, I'd put her in the Top Five.

Blog Wars and Big Hair

A local blog war is boiling, steaming and pooping fuzzy mullet-scarred cockroaches all over the kitchen linoleum. It's nasty -- and only going to get nastier, folks.

What are the rules, limits and boundaries of a blog war? What is the line that shouldn't be crossed, better we not confuse our avatars with our real selves? Has the line already been crossed and by whom?

Do I care about this any more or less than I do about Carole Bayer Sager's big, frosty-tipped hair? You decide.

DC Radio Blues

My WETA programs are gone, replaced by classical music. I have to search the dial and/or buy a Moonbase Alpha Radio Receiver in order to listen to BBC News. Worse yet, the classical music on 104.1 has been replaced with diarrhea like this:

Does Anyone Else Remember When She Was an Ecstasy-Popping Lesbian From Mars?

Just wondering. And while I'm asking questions about Anne Heche, do they even make Ecstasy any more? Another blogger was supposed to find out, but (gently clearing throat) I never heard. Just wondering.

Anne Heche and her husband are separating after five years of marriage, her spokeswoman said Wednesday.

"They have requested that they be allowed their privacy at this time," publicist Lisa Kasteler said in a statement.

Heche, 37, and Coleman Laffoon, a motion picture cameraman, were married in September 2001. The couple have a 4-year-old son, Homer.

They met while working on a documentary about Ellen DeGeneres' return to stand-up comedy.

Heche had a high-profile relationship with DeGeneres for more than three years. They announced their separation in August 2000.

Heche plays a relationship guru who relocates to Alaska in the ABC-TV drama "Men in Trees." Her film credits include "Wag the Dog," "John Q" and "Donnie Brasco." [Yahoo News]

My "Blogs to Visit" List

1. Fox In The City

2. Cooper's Corridor

3. Getting Myself Together

4. Random Speak

5. The Martian Anthropologist

6. Scott-O-Rama

Thanks go to Cyrus of The Lair of the Okapi for the recommendations.

Other blog-hopping suggestions?

The Real State of the Union

The below figures reveal everything one could hope to know about America. Americans, or at least those ages 25-54 during the week of Jan. 8, have no taste.

"For the week of Jan. 8, HLN's Nancy Grace beat MSNBC's Keith Olbermann by 7 percent in the 25-54 demo. Olbermann was back on top last week (through Thursday)..."

The Ticker: Vargas, Immelt, Yang... [TVNewser]

Scavengers on a British Coast

The Former Former Significant Other likes to point and laugh when "civilized" folks act like junkyard vultures. CNN posted a story and video earlier today of some Brits doing just that as they plunder a ship's cargo.

I can't figure out how (if there is a way) to embed the video or its direct link on this blog. Click below to the article and scroll to the video link in the third paragraph (a lot of work, I know) to watch the plunderers.

UK workers race to remove fuel from listing ship [CNN]

Suspected Killer of Journalist in Custody

A quick update/follow-up to Saturday's post about the slain Turkish-Armenian journalist... The suspected killer is now in custody. The suspect is a 17 year-old who was turned in by his father after the dad saw his son's image on TV. The suspect has apparently confessed to the murder.

From E Canada Now:

A suspect has been arrested in the case of Hrant Dink, the Turkish-Armenian journalist who was assassinated yesterday. Dink was known for writing about the controversial issue of Armenian genocide, the mass killings of Armenians by Turks under the rule of the Ottoman Empire.

Ogün Samast, a 17-year-old unemployed, high-school drop out from the city of Trabzon, was taken into custody by the Turkish police as the suspected assassin of Hrant Dink. The police also confiscated his gun, suspecting that it was used to kill Dink. Ahmet Samast, father of the suspected assassin, informed the authorities regarding the whereabouts of his son after seeing the assassin’s images on TV.

The Republic attorney general of Samsun stated that the suspect has confessed to committing his crime.

Updating My Blogroll

I recently realized that many of the sites on my blogroll no longer get updated regularly, no longer receive visits from yours truly and(or) no longer need what insignificant amounts of traffic that my links brought them. A "normal" season of blogging, I suppose.

I haven't had much time to surf for new blogs to add to the blogroll. Let me know what and whom I've been missing. This links stuff -- the traffic, the Technorati ranking, etc. -- means a lot to some of you (and sometimes to me too). Let me know.

World 'Shocked' by Murder of Turkish-Armenian Journalist

Groups and individuals from around the globe continue to express outrage at yesterday's murder of a Turkish-Armenian journalist.

The journalist, a Christian of Armenian descent, was frequently criticized by Turkish nationalists for his stance that the Ottoman Turks enacted genocide against Armenians during WWI.

From Focus:

The murder of Turkish-Armenian journalist Hrant Dink shocked the world. He was killed on Friday night. Dink, 52, was a Christian of Armenian descent. He was frequently criticized by Turkish nationalists, including politicians and prosecutors, for saying the mass killing of Armenians by Ottoman Turks during World War One was genocide. He received threats by nationalists who considered him a betrayer. According to the information, the journalist was killed in central Istanbul on his way to the office of the weekly Turkish-Armenian newspaper Agos. The suspected murderer is a young man aged about 18 or 19 who fired point-blank three or four bullets.

The police arrested eight people. The analyses of the fired cartridges from the site of the murder revealed that the patrons' calibre was 7,65 mm and the weapon had not been used in other crimes. At the order of Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan, the Interior Minister ant the Justice Minister went to Istanbul.

The murder stirred violent reactions. Turkey’s President Ahmet Necdet Sezer described it as an “inhuman act” stressing that such activities would never reach their goal.

Turkey’s Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan said the murder was “an attack against the peace and stability” of the country and promised that the perpetrators would be arrested. Erdogan called on the people and especially the Turkish citizens of Armenian descent for calm.

Turkey’s Parliament Speaker Bulent Arinc stated that the crime wouldn’t break Turkey’s unity and calm no matter who and with what purpose committed it.

The spokesman of the US Department of State Tom Casey said the murder of Hrant Dink was a “tragic incident” and described it as “concerning”. He reminded that Dink had received threats for his writing. "Certainly we never want to see a situation in which individuals are intimidated or in fact suffer retribution of any kind simply for freely expressing their views," Casey said.

The EU Enlargement Commissioner Olli Rehn said he was “shocked” by the murder. "I am shocked and saddened by this brutal act of violence.", a statement by Rehn on the assassination of the journalist reads. “Hrant Dink was a respected intellectual who defended his views with conviction and contributed to an open public debate. He was a campaigner for freedom of expression in Turkey.”

Here Comes Trouble

Relatively speaking, things have been a bit boring lately. And, yeah, I know... I'm a bit boring always.

And westward, The Drama marches on its return to the blogosphere.

Big Head Rob’s Comeback
Friday January 19th, 2007 5:41 PM by Big Head Rob
Filed under: BHR

BHR, the bigger, longer and uncut version will officially launch Monday. Stay tuned, kids. Permalink

I Hate Overstock.com

As part of my future career as a gay house husband (house and husband yet to be determined), I thought I'd point out the following: Overstock.com is a big, hot stinking piece of poop.

Last week I ordered a $40 runner rug. $42.00 with shipping. The rug arrived yesterday and was wrong, wrong and wrong. (What did I expect for $40... $42 with shipping?)

If I return the rug, I will be charged significantly more (by Overstock.com) for shipping -- and -- pay a pricey "restocking" fee. My total refund will be $20.

Email me if you need a rug.

And in Another Act of Desperation, I Type "Don't De-Link Me!"

There's a Primetime Live special currently -- at this very moment -- on the air discussing how to remove excess skin after losing 800 or so pounds of body weight. The world really is ending.

Oh boy.

It feels like I've lost 800 pounds in the last few days. Emotionally, that is. Of course, I'm not sure what it means to lose 800 emotional pounds, and I don't think I did, but it seem like the only possible transition from typing about the morbidly obese.

In case you are wondering what I've been doing the past few days (and I suspect that none of you are), here's what I've been doing: absolutely nothing. Well, that's not completely true. I've spent the last few days contemplating what I want to do for the rest of my life. And I think I figured it out. I, circumlocutor, want to become a gay house husband.

Sad -- but -- true. I've realized that the only way in which I'll ever achieve any modicum of happiness in this life is if everyday I sleep in late, do a little light housekeeping, sip mint juleps, trade gossip and coupons with neighbors, and collect mid-century American pottery. Of course I'll host blogger wine & cheese parties on the side. I promise.

First I need to find a house. Then a husband (or at least one who, on the strength of my barely-there charms, will support my planned lotus eating.)

For the none of you who monitor the status of my on-on-off-off-on-on again relationship with the Former Former Significant Other, we are currently "on." Go figure.

Just so you know.... until my newest life ambition is achieved (and I do mean "until"), I'll continue what has become such a crucial part of so many of your lives -- this blog.

The Great Harpoon

Larry King was interviewed by The Miami Herald, and he discussed his plans to stay on CNN for the next 85 years, his life as a radio guy, and the deadly, dangerous "swivel chair." He also said that Nancy Grace is a harpooned whale... or that she harpoons whales... or something like that.

Whatever he said, it's clear that Nancy "Taser Breath" Grace won't be the 39th Mrs. Larry King (any time soon). Nor will Bill O'Reilly.

''All I knew about Bobby Darin was Mack the Knife,'' King recalls. ``So I asked him, where did Bobby Darin come from?'' The simple question -- no prepping from publicists, no studying critics' reviews, no finely honed trick clauses -- worked so well that King has never done it any other way. He actually prefers not to have read the book or seen the movie his guest is talking about, so his questions ring with curiosity rather than rehearsal.

It's a popular style with his audiences, less so with his critics, who accuse King of lobbing softballs to all his guests. That, he concedes, bugs him a little....

King is no fan of the current generation of talk-show hosts, who use their guests as props or punching bags. He calls them ''I'' hosts, because they are more interested in lecturing their guests than listening to them.

''I hope I never do that,'' he says. ``I'm not saying it's bad. If you watch Bill O'Reilly, that is Bill O'Reilly. It's not my cup of tea, I don't care for it, but I can understand why a lot of viewers do. . . .

'Nancy Grace, I don't think she has an `interviewing style.' She's a prosecutor. It's a prosecutorial style. Very accusatory, harpoonish. I don't think it's fair to the judicial system. I believe in the presumption of innocence. When I do a show, I make sure both sides are represented.'' [Miami Herald]

Touchy, Touchy

While conservatives are up in hooves over Barbara Boxer's reminder that Condi Rice is Known and Alone, some non-conservatives -- er, Lesbian Groups -- wonder why this is such a sensitive issue for Condi and the Radical Right.

Was Sen. Barbara Boxer's heated confrontation this week with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice a case of "vicious" feminine politics -- as some critics have suggested -- or merely the politics of frank talk in tough times?

Boxer, defending herself against critics from the right, said Friday that she was "speaking truth to power" at a Senate hearing Thursday when she confronted the secretary of state -- who is unmarried and childless -- noting that neither she nor Rice will "pay a price" personally for sending more American troops to war.

"I was just saying what I felt,'' the California Democrat said in an interview with The Chronicle. She said she would not apologize for the exchange because "I delivered a very strong message and tried to find common ground with her ... and I tried to draw us together, and not apart.''

The exchange occurred when Rice appeared before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to support President Bush's proposal to increase U.S. troop levels in Iraq by 21,500.

Boxer, during her questioning of Rice, said she wanted to focus attention on the human consequences of the decision. "Who pays the price? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old, and my grandchild is too young," to serve, Boxer told Rice. "You're not going to pay a price, as I understand it, within immediate family. So who pays the price? The American military and their families.''.....

But Gloria Nieto, a Bay Area activist and former chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee gay and lesbian caucus, said the administration's sharp reaction -- and the heated reaction by conservative media -- was hypocritical and suggested undue sensitivity about Rice's personal status.

She said that White House spokesman Snow is hardly a "defender of feminism'' and that he should realize that "this is what democracy looks like.''

Boxer said administration officials are trying to divert the public's attention from the serious issues. "This is just typical of what they do. ... The Bush administration always goes after me, and anyone who has been against the war from the start,'' she said. "It's 'kill the messenger.' '' [SF Gate]

Best Daytime Transvestite Breakdown

To save itself from ratings that are sagging like Erika Kane's, um, cheeks, All My Children pulled the ol' "Save the Show By Bringing on a Pre-Op Tranny" trick. I guess Heather Locklear wasn't available.

Here's a clip, courtesy of Best Week Ever via Queerty via Misty Ann, of the "Best Daytime Transvestite Breakdown." The biggest punchline in this idiotic dialogue is, of course, at the very end.

And Now, A Word From Brit Spears' Panties

It's been a while since I checked in with Britney Spears' invisible panties. You know, to say "hi" and to see how they're doing. And booooooyyyyy, do I regret it, because Brit-Poo's panties have been making a bit of news as of late.

Tonight's Brit-Poo Panty Countdown:

1) Brit's panty pics are now, officially, less popular than the video of Saddam Hussein hanging. " People looking for the Saddam Hussein hanging video have finally outnumbered those who are looking for Britney Spears no panties pictures. Lycos, Inc., today announced the The Lycos 50, the 50 most popular Internet search results for the week ending Jan. 6, 2007." [Post Chronicle]

2) Brit's panty-less antics made were the Worst Dressed of 2006. "Britney Spears ended the year with a flurry of no panties photos slamming through the internet. She was already dubbed the worst dressed celebrity in 2006 by Us Weekly for her horrid taste in clothes and well lack of clothes. Now the annual Mr. Blackwell smackdown is set, and he is even willing to throw a bone to former Britney BFF Paris Hilton." [National Ledger]

3) Brit -- and her panties -- may be beyond repair. "According to In Touch, a former stylist for the pop princess claims that Britney just can't be helped, at least when it comes to her look. "Don't blame me, okay? I make her up and she just takes everything off and does her own thing," said Britt Bardo, whose other, more pliant clients include J-Lo and Kate Hudson." [TMZ]

One Geraldo Down, One Nancy Grace to Go

Geez, I didn't even know this guy was still on the air. Or alive. Didn't he kick the bucket a few years ago? Or was that Morton Downey, Jr.? Confusion is everywhere.

The good news is that the Great Nose Bandage, The Former Fox News Freak, The Guy Who Promised to Gun-Down Osama bin Laden, is no longer on the air ever day of the week. Geraldo Rivera's syndicated show "Geraldo At Large," which aired locally between reruns of Mama's Family, has been canned. Celebrate as you please.

The bad news is that Nancy Grace is still At Large. Or Large. Or Large and At Large. Or Large and In Charge or, well, you get it.....

But, in a possible sign that God is Great, Court TV, the network that more or less spawned Nancy Grace, is no longer on the Dish Network.

And more bad news... Geraldo is returning to Fox News. Which, of course, means that he's not really going away, but, since he'll only be appearing on weekends, it's at least a reduction.

From NewsMax:

Geraldo Rivera's syndicated newsmagazine "Geraldo at Large" was canceled Thursday because of poor ratings, but the veteran newsman has signed a multiyear deal to bring his previous show back to Fox News Channel.

"At Large With Geraldo Rivera" will air on Saturday and Sunday nights, with the show's premiere date and time slot to be determined. Rivera also will continue to make guest appearances on Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor" and serve as a correspondent at large during major breaking-news events.

It ended its run in 2005 ahead of the fall launch of "Geraldo at Large," which replaced the ailing "A Current Affair." But its ratings were worse than those of its predecessor. It will air through January 26.

Mitt Romney: A Massachusetts Liberal????

Pity Mitt Romney. He's too far to the right for the left (and the middle), and, it seems, he's too far to the left for the right (and maybe the middle). And too Mormon for everyone else.

At least he has Jerry Falwell on his side.

According to some right winger, who's probably a nobody -- but who came up in a Google News search so he's more of a somebody than this nobody, Mitt Romney is a "Massachusetts Liberal." Ho, hum, yawn. Slap my sleeping face when Romney's doomed to be doomed campaign finally implodes.

From the right winger's column:

Thus, it's no wonder that while campaigning against Ted Kennedy in 1994, Romney said that anti-marriage "is not appropriate at this time." My guess is that the time will be right when the electorate is left.

Equally damning, though, is that in a very ominous way he can be compared to yet another infamous poseur, Hillary Clinton. On April 12, 2006, Romney signed a bill into law that creates a universal health system intrusive enough to be the envy of socialists everywhere. The plan mandates that every Ma. resident must obtain health insurance by July 1, 2007, or face a fine that could exceed 1,200 dollars a year. Of course, this scheme includes the creation of a new bureaucracy, one that will, using Big Brother's infinite wisdom, determine how much you can afford to pay. Wow, thanks for the help, Mitt. Or, is it "Vinny the Chin"? I mean, this sounds like an offer you just can't refuse.

To justify his socialist brainchild, Romney uses the argument that it is no different from requiring people to carry car insurance. Ah, speciousness, thy name is Romney. Mr. Governor, you can choose not to own a car.

Everyone must have a body.

But remember this when Romney touts his credentials as a fiscal conservative. While he may boast of his steadfast refusal to raise taxes, it rings hollow when he turns around and mandates citizen expenditures and levies fines. But liberals are adept at revenue-raising sleight-of-hand; when another tax increase would raise voter ire, they simply deem it a toll, fine, fee or, I love this one, a "surcharge." I prefer honest theft myself.

President Bush is often excoriated for betraying his conservative base, a perception that contributes to poll numbers lower than Ted Kennedy's jowls. Forgotten, however, is that while campaigning for the presidency in 2000, Bush accused the Republican Congress of trying ". . . to balance the budget on the backs of the poor," a line that could have been culled from Democrat talking points. Folks, the president never cast himself as anything but exactly what he is. We just weren't listening.

Are we listening now?

Ah, those Massachusetts liberals: Frank, Dukakis, Kennedy and Willard Mitt Romney. It just seems to roll off the tongue.

"Soon, A Nuclear Baby"

For tonight's late-night, Tylenol PM-fueled post, I'm going to do the thinkable -- I am going to quote at length from the January 2007 "Special Issue" of the "House of Yahweh Newsletter." The House of Yahweh (HOY) is the homophobic nuke-fetish cult from Abilene, Texas, that (falsely!) predicted a nuclear holocaust would take place on September 12, 2006.

Following the failure of the homophobic soothsayers, Kenyan authorities rushed to avoid a local "Jonestown." Cult followers there had sold their possessions in preparation of the nukes , and leaders went into hiding after the nukes failed to nuke.

Now, months after the failed prediction, The (homophobic) House of Yahweh has scraped together enough nickels to produce a "Special Issue" of their irregularly published newsletter. And, folks, when The House of Yahweh produces a "Special Issue" of its newsletter, circumlocutor reads it! Thanks, of course, go to the Arlington, Virginia, House of Yahweh proselytizer who continues to slip copies of the newsletter under the doorways of "luxury" Ballston condominiums. Thanks!

From the article "Soon, A Nuclear Baby" found in the January 2007 "Special Edition" of "The House of Yahweh" newsletter:

My Dear Friends,

The headline sounds like something from the darkest minds of Hollywood, but this is far from fiction, it's 100% true.

This nuclear baby was conceived September 12, 2006, and just as with a woman with child, nine months later the delivery is due, which will bring us to June 12, 2007. This nuclear baby will actually kill one-third of man over a fourth part of the earth in and around the great River Euphrates. This prophecy was written over 2,000 years ago, just after the One called the Savior was killed in Jerusalem on a stake, which was first prophesied almost 4,000 years before it occurred.......

The nuclear baby is a per of another prophecy showing the actual end of man's governments of and by the people. That prophecy shows us the last seven years, starting with the confirmation of the seven year peace plan. In this prophecy we are given the actual name of the Prime Minister of Israyl (Rabin), who, prophecy shows, would be the one with which the seven year plan was confirmed. This plan is being pushed now by President Bush and the rest of the Quartet members in Israyl at this time.....

Relatively, "Models Inc." Is Quality TV

Laziness comes at a cost. Because I was too slothful to move 48 inches and pick up the remote control last night, I suffered through a 60-minute Shit Parade known to mortals as Grease: You're the One That I Want.

Don't ask questions about the show. The only answer you'll get from these fingers, the reply to any and all questions about the Fart Fest is this: It's Really, Really, Really, Really Bad.

When next you see me, feel free to dunk my face in a Salt Lake City-style HOT Crockpot full of chips and Cheese Whiz. Or kick my knees.

Better Than Psychic Tina in Georgetown: Pat Robertson

This year's first idiotic, cloaked-in-cultish-religious-dogma apocalypse prediction comes from the Patron Saint of Boobs, Pat Robertson. On his 700,000 Club show, Robertson said that terrorists will attack the U.S. of A. this year -- resulting in mass killings.

At least he didn't blame the mass killings on lesbians and the ACLU this time. Or did he?

Anyway, in case you're planning on buying an RV this year -- be ware. God told Pat that disaster WILL happen.

From KLTV:

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

Robertson said God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward "national suicide."

Robertson suggested in January 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians. The broadcaster predicted in January 2004 that President Bush would easily win re-election. Bush won 51 percent of the vote that fall, beating Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts.

In 2005, Robertson predicted that Bush would have victory after victory in his second term. He said Social Security reform proposals would be approved and Bush would nominate conservative judges to federal courts. Lawmakers confirmed Bush's 2005 nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. But the president's Social Security initiative was stalled.

"I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006. Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring's heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

Fort George G. Meade Loves Me!

And rounding out the Top 12 Hometowns of circumlocutor Visitors is..... "Ft. George G. Meade, Maryland"!

Welcome to my Palace of Pleasures, "Ft. George G. Meade!" Unless, "Ft. George G. Meade" includes the "National Security Agency," that is.

Resolve to Not Be Mean

Three people have recently told me that I often come across as a mean, mean c*nt face on this blog. Mean, mean, mean, mean, mean. Mean and mean.

It's probably true. They are likely right. But it's not intentional.... not really.

I often mistake mean for funny. Or, rather, I often delude myself into thinking that mean is funny and that I, on occasion, am funny. Yeah, I know I'm not funny. And, really, except for behind a steering wheel, I'm not mean either. I promise.

So here's to not being mean.... or, at least, not writing as meanly as I usual. You might be surprised to know, but I often edit and delete things that sound too "mean." Really -- it's true. Doesn't that make me a great person? Doesn't that qualify me as some sort of latter-day Saint?

As all resolutions go, this one will probably get broken in less than a week.

Links, Links, Links, Links, Links

1. Dan Rather has no problem with soft porn. [HuffPo]

2. "Remember when Jerry Falwell threatened to buy CBS and fire Dan Rather?" Me either. [Sun-Sentinel]

3. As the promotion for the Ashton Kuchner-produced TV show, Beauty & the Geek, heats up, Demi Moore offers more useless insight into their love. [Huff Po]

4. Cindy Crawford loves Turkish leather. [Radar]

5. Someone really loved Dreamgirls. [Sugar 'N' Spice]

6. Someone really, really loves life. [Garden of Ruminations]

7. A local blogger takes a break. [Whisky Pants]

8. Britney Spears drinks some booze and takes a nap. [TMZ]

9. Mysteriously, Kenny Loggins did not produce a 2006 "Best Album." [DCeiver]

10. More mysteriously, CNN doesn't know Obama from Osama. [Wonkette]

11. You can't save seats at church. [Sour N Sweet]

Dreamgirls = O.K., But Nothing Special

Full review to follow.... possibly. If not, settle for what's in this post.

I saw Dreamgirls over the weekend. Underwhelmed. Really. It wasn't awful -- but it also wasn't great.

The songs failed to inspire. They sounded a bit worn and, at moments, I dreamt the final credits would soon roll. Not enough snazz, not enough guts, not enough passion. Not enough dreaming.

Jennifer Hudson was o.k. But not amazing. Not for me, at least. At moments, she almost graced amazing. Most of those moments were in the first reel. After that, Hudson and her character became annoying, tiresome... another movie musical cliche. (At one point in the film, I turned to my movie-going companion and said "Would Jennifer Hudson please shut up?!") For being Hudson's first movie performance, I suppose she should be proud.

The surprise of the movie (for me) was that Beyoncé wasn't awful and that she didn't manage to single-handedly sink the film. Beyoncé was very watchable, and her mannered, beautiful presence was a splended antidote to Hudson's grating blabbermouth.

Almost as surprising is that Eddie Murphy stole the show. Thanks to Dreamgirls, I wil no longer refer to Mr. Murphy as the guy who starred in Pluto Nash.

The films directing = o.k, but nothing special. The acting = o.k., but nothing special. The music = o.k., but nothing special.

And to Confirm, I've Always Been Lame

Not that I'm admitting to any of this stuff, but, you know, I thought I'd write it....

1. Best Christmas gift of the year: A new vacuum cleaner. Never happier than when I unwrapped it.

2. Macy's coupons. Oh my god. I actually clipped one. Oh my god. I actually used it. Oh my god. I bought two winter-themed teapots with the coupon. Oh my god. Shoot me. Oh my god.

3. Poor Dick Clark. Poor me for watching the ailing Clark "ring in the new year." Poor me for forging an emotional bond with Dick.

4. Lameness is hereditary. My grandmother is the world's worst gift giver. Doubly sad, she spends months decided what to give whom. She's like a little kid at Christmas.

But, really, a quesadilla maker? Because when I was 14 I told her that I like Mexican food? Because I'm that "hard to shop for" (stocks? real estate? Nicoderm?)??? If you think a quesadilla maker is bad, you should have seen the box of used candles she gave my Step Father's girlfriend (my mom is deceased). My grandmother later admitted that the used candles came from a church gift exchange.

5. The first time in a lifetime my family didn't greet me with "You're not eating well" is this year, the year I'm my fattest and most grossly overweight. "You've never looked better," they say. Thanks for the ego boost. Pass the green bean casserole made with eight sticks of butter, please.

6. Oh my god. I actually clipped (and used) a Macy's coupon. Oh my god.

More to follow.... Tylenol PM is making the old eyelids a bit droopy.....

DC Agency Loses Track of AIDS Cases

From Saturday's WaPo (I realize that was two days ago -- but I've been in holiday mode) comes an article detailing how a DC agency has lost count of the number of AIDS cases in the District.

Despite federal requirements for collecting and releasing AIDS-related statistics, DC's Administration for HIV Policy and Programs (AHPP) has never released HIV data it has been collecting for five years. It has not released data on AIDS-related deaths since 2002.

From the article:

In late August, barely a month into her new job, Marie Sansone of the District's AIDS agency was astounded by what she discovered: five boxes of unexamined HIV and AIDS cases that had not been touched in more than a year.

In the boxes were records of 2,000 to 3,000 cases that had yet to be entered in the city's database. The records are mostly from 2004 and 2005, some from 2003. Who's getting sicker, who needs treatment, who died. All boxed up.

"Oh, my goodness," Sansone, surveillance chief for the city's Administration for HIV Policy and Programs (AHPP), remembers saying.....

That information is critical to managing a spreading epidemic, now in its 25th year. Under guidelines from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, AHPP is required to collect, maintain and distribute statistics on the disease, which dozens of community-based organizations depend on for their prevention and treatment programs.

City officials acknowledge that the District is behind in tracking new cases of HIV, as well as in reporting the number of deaths from AIDS complications.

AHPP reports that about 10,000 District residents -- nearly 1 in 50 -- have AIDS. It estimates that between 17,000 and 25,000 have HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Though AHPP started collecting HIV data in 2001, it has yet to release the statistics, and it hasn't released data on AIDS-related deaths since 2002. In contrast, Baltimore issues yearly and quarterly updates of HIV cases and AIDS-related deaths.

With the additional five boxes, the District's big problem just got bigger.

"This is very, very, very serious," Sansone says. "Getting through these boxes is of the highest priority."

And Sansone's historically disorganized, chronically understaffed surveillance department shoulders the weight of correcting the public record. Since early September, Sansone and her staff have been going through the five boxes, looking at each case, going back to local health care providers to complete reports, making sure that an HIV case is not counted as an AIDS case and vice versa.