Obit: Her Husband Slept with a 'Hunchbacked Haitian Dwarf'

Unlike my grandparents, I'm not in the habit of checking the obituaries to learn whether or not I finally kicked the bucket. I figure I'll know when my time has come has come because a pep squad of hunky angels will show up -- accompanied by Stan Getz' tenor saxophone and the Scissor Sisters' twiggy lyrics! -- and lead me to the sweet hereafter.

One of my friends isn't quite so confident. Strumming through WaPo's obituaries the other day, she came across a sad, sad synopsis of Susan Robinson Elliot's life.

Here's a summary of WaPo's sad, sad summary of Susan Elliott:

Susan Robinson Elliott, a former Catholic schoolgirl from Washington, DC, died in London at the age of 65. She dreamed of becoming an actress and never did. She was married to British actor Denholm Elliott, who cheated on her with men, became HIV-positive, and died of an AIDS-related illness. Her daughter was a heroin addict who committed suicide. Susan Elliott was trapped in an apartment fire a few years ago and, as a result, spent the final years of her life alone in a wheelchair and died as a result of a fire in her apartment.

Tragic, right? Well, sink your teeth into these twisted details:

She was aware of her husband's affairs, exclusively with men as the years went by and, as the Telegraph reported, often rather exotic -- Moroccan gigolos, Chinese waiters, Spanish garage attendants, a hunchbacked Haitian dwarf.